The meaning of this moment just hit me pretty heavy. Goosebumps all over, I had to stop what I was doing to let it sink in and really wallop me with emotion for a moment. I'm packing my weekend bag for Columbus which is a fairly regular thing for me. I'm packing every shirt I own which is also a regular thing for me. (Haven't I gotten better, though?) What's different is that, come Sunday, I won't be back here unpacking my bag.
Our little family is moving up to Columbus tomorrow because my husband starts a new job Monday. I'm thankful for this. But I'm a lot of other things too, and it's been a whirlwind 3 weeks of deciding which thing is going to win my heart. As the sunlight fades and I finish up with our clothes and cups and loose ends-everything else in boxes already-I'm deciding (just in time, perhaps) to be brave. In spite of so many precious faces that have my heart tethered to this city, my only home for 30 years, and in spite of a million question marks about life in a new one, I'm choosing to be courageous. I'm going to wake up with hope and expectation and I should--there are good promises for us up there.
Big girl says she is excited to move to Columbus but sad to leave her cloud room. She asked me if I could take a couple clouds with us so we won't be sad. That's a simple fix. (And bonus, it's just corn starch and water, won't leave a mark, so it's a contract violation I'm willing to risk here). I'm steeling myself for change in a similar way, I guess. I've been busy the past couple nights writing down
words of encouragement and promise that all the wonderful people in our lives, cincinnatians or not, have been sharing with us. There's something about the strains of time and space that compel an honesty in relationships, and many of you have been sharing words of love, hope and encouragement that have steadied me in this time of shifting sands. More than that, you have seen and articulated the good promises that lay waiting when I've been too emotional to see them clearly for myself.
I guess it's not "in spite of" these precious people that I leave courageously...it is, after all, because of.
But for now I'm letting this moment linger like a goodnight kiss. I'm savoring it like a glass of wine or the last page of a great book. Yeah, there's something about that--when you finish a book and hold it to your chest and let the emotions of a well-told story swirl around you and flood your senses. I always have to do that before I put the book down and carry on.
That's tonight. (Cheers!)
